Since the election, I hear a lot about "snowflakes" and adults acting like "children" for being upset about the election.  Here's a little something for you to consider as we continue to talk to our children about the election. 

My daughter has a half brother, who is absolutely adorable and handsome and smart. He is also a quarter Cuban. No big deal, right? Except, that she was afraid her brother would be deported. Her brother who was born here in the US to US citizens. Her brother who has a very respectable grandfather who came to this country and made a good and honest life for himself. She was afraid that Trump would send her brother away and build a wall. 

So, when I worry about how this election has affected our children, take heart, there is a reason, and it is very personal. Her name is Anika and she is 5 years old. She is a child and she cried. I explained to her that no one would ever be sending her brother away or kicking him out of the country. She doesn't understand what a country is. She doesn't understand that there are different religions. She doesn't understand that there are different races. She understands that she loves her brother dearly.

Yes, I understand that President-Elect Trump is not building a wall.  I understand that he is not deporting American citizens.  But, our children don't always understand.  It may takes days, weeks, or even months for them to come to us with their fears or concerns.  

Answer them truthfully, but keep in mind they are children.  And, the thing they first need to know is that you love them and that you will protect them no matter what they may see on the news, or in the schools.

I will continue to teach my children love and respect for ALL people, regardless of race or creed. And, when my children grow up, they will continue that legacy.

Quiet for Too Long

I moved to Florida, life seemed to fall apart, and I shut my mouth.

I didn't talk often about what was important to me, I felt unimportant.

Why?

I was no longer a valuable, contributing member of society.  Or, so I thought.

I needed public assistance and was completely embarrassed.  After all, isn't that what happens to those who don't take care of their responsibilities?  Aren't food stamps for "slackers".  Obamacare is for people who don't work, isn't it?  The answer to all of these questions is a resounding "NO".

I did not want to bring attention to myself and my family, so I kept my mouth shut.

Well, the time has come... I am going to open my mouth.  I am going to speak about what is important to myself and my family.

By keeping my mouth shut and not speaking up, I have added to the problem.  I added to the misconception of the poor being uneducated and not worthy.

My children and I worked hard together.  It may have been me bringing in the paycheck, but they contributed.  They got along when we had no where to live but a two bedroom apartment.  They smiled when I knew they were sad that Momma said, "We are going to Salvation Army for school clothes.  We have to save."

Today, we have moved out of that situation.  Things are still tough, and they will be for a long time.  But, it is time for this Momma to stop hiding in a cave for fear of what the rest of the world thinks, and saying what is important.

Prison Should Not Be Relief from Child Support

This morning, I read an article through Yahoo News entitled "Prison Is No Relief From Child Support".  The article talks about a move to require states to reduce the amount of child support owed by an incarcerated parent.

Whatever a person's feelings are on the incarcerated parent, or the parent who is not incarcerated and is carrying for any children, it does not diminish the needs of the child.  Having a parent in jail is hard on children.  Now, let's make it a little harder.

As a parent who is owed back child support, I can say, it hurts terribly.  I am not going to allow my child to suffer for it though.  I also know that eventually, I will see that child support.  It's already as if I am giving the other parent an interest free loan for his portion of raising our child.

Now, let's take that a step farther, if he was to commit a crime and end up in jail, that should be on him.  It should not be for me,  I should not be penalized if he committed a crime.

The article says that all the responsible parent wants is some type of reimbursement.  But, if there is to be a settlement made, then let me have a word in it.  What if, as the other parent who is all of the sudden not receiving their child support, debt is incurred.  They may well be dependent on knowing that eventually the amount owed them is going to be paid.  That light at the end of the tunnel, that somehow, someday, it will come.  I know for me, that light has been a beacon in the past.

There is another side to this as well, and that is the side of those who do make their child support payments faithfully.  Who care about their children and do everything they can to care for them.  What about all those great parents out there that put their kids first, that make sure that their children are cared for?  Committing a crime and being send to jail is completely a voluntary underemployment issue.  By reducing the amount of child support on those who commit criminal acts, is rewarding those ill acts, it is also devaluing the good parents out there who will do anything to care for their children.

I have a great amount of respect for parents on both sides of the fence out there.  There should be respect for those who are on the receiving end of child support and for those who pay child support.  These parents should not be disrespected and devalued by such regulations.  Regulations such as this only will hurt good parents out there and reward criminals.

To My Gaming Son ...

This morning, my son shared a YouTube video with me about "10 Things Gamers' Parents Need To Know".

Here's my response ...

Mom speaking here ... I'm pretty good with most of this, but I wish there were some things that gamers knew... My biggest is, dinner is served every night at roughly the same time,please don't start a new game or something that you can't walk away with before dinner.  No one likes cold dinner.  I haven't sat down since I got home from work, the least you can do is come to the table.  Periodically, I will let you eat at your desk, but that is not an everyday thing. Bedtime is bedtime, yes, I realize you can't pause.  No, I don't care if you get kicked from the game for a period of time.  I want to go to sleep also and 11 PM on a school night is too late, especially when I've said something every half hour for the past 2 hours.  So, if need be, I will happily sing a bedtime song right next to your mike.  I am not beyond making a fool of myself if it means you get the sleep you don't think you need. Please don't make me disconnect the modem.  My only time of relaxation is at night and I enjoy my Netflix. Love,  Mom

So You Want A Job?

It's crazy busy at work.  We have so much to do that the day finally came that we need some help.  I must say that I was excited... yeah! 

My boss put an ad on Craigslist.  It was a pretty standard ad.  We just need a part-time receptionist to begin with.  Ideally, this is someone that we can train to do more and really help with our clients in the future.

We received around 400 responses to our ad.  So, how does someone make themselves stand out to get that call. 

1.   This is a professional office, please do not use hot pink lettering on your resume.  Yes, it will make you stand out, but not in the way you were hoping.

2.   If the ad asks for a cover letter, and you do not include one, the chances of you being considered are pretty nil.

3.  Check your grammar!  I received literally dozens of resumes and cover letters that had horrific grammar.  These were not instances of spell check or grammar check going wrong.  I even saw some that did not include any capitalization or punctuation.  

4.  Keep the cover letter short and sweet.  A couple paragraphs should do the trick.  I really have a lot of them to go over so if you cover letter is a full page and single spaced, I probably won't read the whole thing.

5.  Different font sizes may be okay in some situations, but please don't use multiple fonts and font sizes in the same paragraph.  All that this shows me is that you are not detailed and don't care about how something looks.

Okay, now you made it past the resume stage.  You have received that call to possibly set up an interview.  What should you or should you not do?

1.  Do not talk with your mouth full.

2.  I understand that I may be calling you at home or out and about.  I understand that there may be kids hollering in the background.  I'm a mom, I get it.  If this happens, ask if you can call me back, and then call back as soon as you can.  If you wait a day or two, I will probably have moved on and scheduled someone else already for that interview.

3.  Be friendly.  I am not saying act as if you are my best friend, but be pleasant.  This is for a receptionist position.  If your phone mannerisms are not good, then you won't be coming in for that in-person interview.  

Yeah!  The interview is scheduled, it's time to meet your potential employer or supervisor.  Here are a few tips for you.

1.  Do not drown yourself in perfume.  I already know that you were sitting in your car for a half hour chain smoking, I would rather you take a moment and go to the ladies room to freshen up first then douse yourself in cologne right before you walk in.  I'd rather know you are a smoker from the get go then you try to hide it.  

2.  This is an interview, do not come dressed to go out to the mall or a night out.  Corduroys are not fine.  Skin-tight latex pants are not fine.  I do not expect that you will be coming dressed in a three piece suit, but please take some time to think about how you should dress for the type of work environment you are applying for.

3.  Do some homework.  It may be for only a receptionist position, but find out what type of business you are interviewing at.  You have our name, our address and I told you a little about us during the telephone interview, Google us.  I want to see some initiative, I especially want to see if you will take that extra step before you come in.  If you do, then you are more likely to take the extra step with our clients.

4.  Take off your outside jacket.  I know that it's chilly outside, but I want to know that you can make yourself comfortable.  If you look like you are ready to run for the door, you probably don't belong sitting in that chair across from me.

5.  Absolutely follow-up.  Write a short e-mail saying thank you would be great.  I want the feedback as much as you do.  I want to know that you are really interested in this position.

*    *    * 

Now, good luck in that job hunt.  I know it's not easy out there right now, so it is more important than ever to put your best foot forward. 

Becoming Self-Reliant

Recently I was visiting a new church and self reliance came up.

Such an interesting topic if you really think about it.  When most people think of self reliance they think solely of what it means to simply take care of themselves and their own needs without assistance of anything outside of their own bubble.

When I think of self reliance the same thing comes to mind, but it really goes so much further.

You see, I've been there, done that.  I've experienced too many things that really shot down my own confidence in being self reliant.  Still, I kept kicking.  If it wasn't for my children, I don't know if I could have accomplished all I have been able to.

I became dependent upon my children.  Not dependent upon them providing for me, they are too young for that.  But, they became my inspiration.  I could have laid back and taken the pity road, allowed myself to join the circle of poverty that is so prevelant.  I simply couldn't accept that.  I am greedy.  I wanted more.  I especially wanted more for my children.

I know that I'm not fully on my feet again.  I know that I will be.  I've had to take a helping hand through the "System".  That didn't mean that I did so lightly.

One of the first parts of becoming self reliant meant swallowing my ego and asking for help.  I had to look at myself, my situation, my surroundings.  I had to evaluate them.  Was I truly doing the best I could do?

My children became my inspiration.  I wanted better for them.  I wanted to be able to spoil them with kisses and love, but also I wanted to provide everything that they needed plus some.   I became dependent upon my children.  If I thought I could do no more, I'd take a look at them.  I'd listen to their stories, their dreams, their everything.

The more I depended upon those little inspirations, those smiles and kisses, the more I was able to to do.

When I was at this new church the other day, someone said (to paraphrase) that the more they came to depend on God to help them through the more self reliant they became.   As I think about that discussion, especially in retrospect, I have to smile and nod.  I can see that, and I can understand that.  You see, I think that God has been acting through my children to give me the inspiration I needed.

Mom Doesn't Know Best

Yet again, some parents are being investigated by CPS for ... allowing their children to walk go to the park alone.

This time the children are 6 and 10.

Six to me is young to being going to the park.  At the same time, this is something similar to what I've done.

A couple years ago, I would let my oldest son walk my younger son to his friend's house a few blocks away.  The deal was simple, he had to call as soon as he arrived and he had to call before he left so someone could come get him.  Fred was 10 and Thom was 8.

He wasn't allowed to cross the street alone.  My biggest concern wasn't someone snatching the boys.  It was a safe neighborhood.  Kids were always running and riding bikes around.  My biggest concern that because of Thom's height, a car may not see him.

When we were kids, in 1st and 2nd grade, we were allowed to go the park, and roam the neighborhood.  Our parents deemed it safe.  If we had lived in a different neighborhood that wasn't so safe, I don't doubt my parents would have said no.

Today, my mother watches the kids after school.  They are not allowed to play outside without supervision.  Emma has friends in the neighborhood, but still, she isn't allowed.  Emma is 8.  The reason is that she is afraid it isn't safe.

The world has changed.  Or rather, attitudes have changed.

Twenty years ago, you rarely heard about the things that happened two towns over, much less in another state.   Now, we constantly hear it.  We are inundated with it.

My aunt was a social worker in small town Pennsylvania.  I don't remember much about what she did, but I do remember from time to time having to go on a late night run to check on a report or neglect or abuse.  This type of thing happened then also.  Our world isn't safer or less safe.  We are more informed.  And, sometimes that knowledge does not add to better our lives, but instead hinders us and makes us fearful.

Commuting Thoughts - Birth Certificates and Race

My Daughter Has An IPad

The economy today is horrific.  There is no denying it.  Families all over the country are finding themselves with little or no savings.  Most are only a paycheck or two away from homelessness themselves.

It seems that everyday I read another article online about another family online who is willing to be the brunt of an article.  They are willing to open themselves up to the criticism that they know will follow.  

Today's article (A Day in the Life of a Family of 6 Trying to Survive on Fast Food Wages)  featured in the New York Magazine is about a family in Texas.  Four of the family members work in fast food.  Dad is ill, Mom works two jobs, and two of the high school daughters also work.  They live in a small apartment.  

When I read these articles, I always take the time to look at the comments that people have left.  Inevitably there is the comments about having too many children.  What got me today was the other comments that are so common.  They have an iPod.  

Oh no!  How dare they have something for entertainment!

Take a step back now please... when was the last time you saw an iPod?  There aren't that many being used anymore.  Most of the iPods out there are old, many scratched up, and still many more sitting in a drawer doing nothing.  I know that a lot of people think that this family should take that little iPod and pawn it or sell it some other way.  For all of you out there, is the $10 or $15 worth it?  Is it worth to sell this trinket, a bit of normality and entertainment, for what wouldn't even amount to a family meal?

You see, my daughter has an iPad.  Not an iPod like this family, but an actual iPad.  It's a first generation one without any camera and most of the newer apps won't work on it because it can't be upgraded anymore.  Her iPad was a gift for her 8th birthday last September.  It's not the greatest and it dosen't always charge correctly, but she loves it.  

Last weekend I took her to the pawn shop with me.  She was going to trade in her iPad and with a few dollars savings that she had saved up wanted to get one with a camera.  They offered us $15 for her little iPad.  The next step up would be almost $200.  Needless to say, that was a lot more than this little girl of 8 had saved up and a lot more than Momma could afford to add to her savings.  She choose to keep her beloved iPad.  

I know that people question how I could possibly justify her having an iPad when I make barely over minimum wage myself.  I justify it simply as it gives her enjoyment.  They don't need to know that it was a gift or that selling it would only merit $15.  

My daughter sacrifices a lot already.  The five of us live in a two bedroom apartment.  The boys have a room and us girls share a room.  Only last month was I able to find a cot I could afford so that all three of us girls aren't sharing one bed.  Emma has her own bed again, it's a camping cot with some old couch cushions on it to make it a little more comfy.  She will lounge on it as if she's queen of the world with her precious iPad watching videos on YouTube or playing a game of MineCraft.  

Judge me if you will as you judge these families, but a $15 dollar dinner isn't worth it to me to take away a small luxury from my daughter.  

She's keeping her iPad, so go ahead and judge me like you do these other families.  It's okay.  I'm a Momma Bear, I can handle it.

Jesus and the Muslim

Oh my, am I about to open a can of worms.

There was an article today on a young Muslim man who is staring in a National Geographic special on Jesus.  Many Christians are up in arms.  I say, "STOP!"

Are you a Christian?  Doesn't that mean loving our neighbors?  Didn't Christ gather followers of all faiths and backgrounds?  He taught us through his words and actions.

As a Christian, I have no problem with this young man's role in this film special.

This young man has taken to heart the role he was asked to play in this film.  He has looked closely at his own religion and at the role of Jesus in it.

Perhaps it has brought him closer to Jesus and his teachings.

Perhaps one day he might accept Jesus as his Savior.  Perhaps not.

Even if he does not, he has opened his mind and done a lot of introspect.  The minimum of which is that he has learned from Jesus' teachings of love and being non-judgmental.  This is a lesson more Christians should learn.

Recycle Your Old Food

Ah, the question of the day, is recycling worth the extra effort.

Recently, Seattle, Washington enacted a new law when it comes to those nasty leftovers.

It is no longer acceptable to simply scrape that plate into the trash.  Now, residents are being required to recycle that old food or face fines.  It seems a lot of people are up in arms in one of the most progressive areas in the country.  For awhile now food businesses have been required to sort those waste edibles for recycling and composting.  Now, all sorts of businesses and individuals are going to be required to do the same.

I remember when no one recycled.  There was no yellow or blue bins at the side of the road on trash day.  Everyone put everything in the trash.  Some people would save and wash their tuna cans for gardening or projects, but for the most part, when you were done with it, straight to the trash it went.  Now, everyone is familiar with recycling and most people in this country recycle to some extent.  Yet, when plastic and paper recycling began, many people were upset.  They didn't want the smell sitting in their yard, it was disgusting, it was going to take too much precious time. ... ah, the reasons that people had back then.  Ironically, they are the same as today with the objections to recycling food waste.

After all, how much difference would it really make?

Recycling does make a difference.  If you question that, I invite you to my apartment complex.  For the first time in more years than I can count, I live somewhere that there is no recycling.  Every week, the huge ugly trash dumpsters fill up with everyone's garbage.  The reek is near unbearable during the summer months.  My apartment complex has around 10 dumpsters, two of which are those huge open monstrosities that you need a tractor trailer to haul off.

Across the street from us is another apartment complex.  They have only 6 smaller dumpsters and a recycling dumpster.  Their dumpsters are never full, and I've the smell is not overwhelming even on the hottest day.  That little bit of recycling that each neighbor does adds up.  Their complex is neat and the dumpsters are never overflowing.  They take recycling and reusing seriously there.  On just about any given day, you can find a decent piece of furniture, or a bag of clothing, or even a set of dishes sitting on the utility box next to one of the dumpsters.

I must admit that I've been tempted to sort out my recyclables and drop them off across the street in that other complex.  Until then, I do the little I can.... I keep a bag on my back door for aluminum cans.  Even a few of the neighbors know that they can drop their cans off at my apartment.  I then crush them and take them to my step-dad who turns them in for a little bit of extra cash.  Those few cans may not make much of a difference to some, but to me, that's one less thing in those big ugly dumpsters.

Seattle, here's what I have to say.  Please take the time and before you know it, you will wonder why the rest of the country isn't following suit.  Then again, if you don't want to have to recycle your old leftovers, maybe it's time to take a look at how much you waste.  Maybe you'll be surprised and start eating those leftovers instead of dropping them in the trash.  It certainly won't hurt your budget, unless you decide the fines are more up your alley.

She knew a young man

Who since he was a tyke

Liked to dance and sing

He liked music so much …

He’d dance so much

He broke his bed

The house would shake

As the volume went up

He’d beatbox to his own music

Listening to it in his head

Making a world all through the sound

Though Momma would say,

“Quiet down now!”

She secretly smiled

At his strange sound

But they weren’t just sounds

And Momma knew

It was the music shining through

So sing and dance

And let the music play

Fill your world my young man

With the music of your own day

Open Letter In Response to "Dear White Moms"

Dear Moms Everywhere,

I read a letter today in the Huffington Post, and it is a letter I think we all needed to read.  So, please take a moment, and read "Dear White Moms".

Why?  Because, we need to all unite to stop this madness.

I am tired.

I am tired of hearing about how an unarmed child has been shot or beat up by those who we raise them to respect and go to for help.

I am tired of this being a race issue.  It shouldn't be.  It is an issue for all of us moms everywhere in this country.  This effects us all.

I am tired of all our children learning to fear police instead of looking to them for comfort and protection.

I am an American.  I try to raise my children as Americans.  Not as "white" Americans.  I want to raise them to not see others as being different, lesser, privileged or more equal,

Perhaps now we are hearing more and more about these horrific cases because of the Internet.  If so, then... Good.  We need to know.

We all need to know that this is happening.  If we don't know, if we insulate ourselves in our "clean" suburbs, behind the doors of McMansions, and gated communities, then we we are part of the problem.

I want as much as any other mom to protect my child from the horrors of war.  But, that is what we have.  It is a war.

It is a war on all of our children.  Our children are learning to not trust those who they should feel safe to go to for help.  If our children run to a police officer, will they be shot.  If their friends are in need of help, will they be afraid because of the color of their skin.

If we as moms everywhere don't unite and find a way to stop this madness, then it will continue and it will get worse.  All of our children will suffer.

I implore all of you.  All of you moms and dads, let's fight this.  No more should die because of this war on our children.

Let us not turn a blind eye to abuses on our children.  Let's speak up and insist that our children whether they be black, white, hispanic, mixed, or of any race be treated with the respect that they as human beings deserve.

Signed,
An American Mom

Grasping for Puzzle Pieces

My sons are on the autism spectrum.

That's a fact.

Recently, I met a number of other moms that have children that I recognize are on the spectrum.  They aren't willing to say it out loud, but I could see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices.  I met their children, and I knew.

Something about me must have let them know it's okay to talk about sensory swings, and styming, missing communication and tactile sensitivies.

As we talked, I came to realize, they are searching for that puzzle piece, the one that would make the puzzle of autism complete.  And, they were looking at me for that missing piece.

They've met my Thomman.  My heart and joy.  Thomman didn't speak at one time, or rather his speach was such that it wasn't.  Thomman once spun in circle after circle to the point that we drew spinning circles on the carport floor that he was allowed to spin in safely.

We read the articles, saw the specialist, bought so many specialized things, all in the hopes that that one thing or that one doctor would be the missing puzzle piece.

But, in the end, I came to realize, there was no missing puzzle piece.  Thom is complete the way he is.

He's my pride and my joy.  He may still spin, and styme and be more senstive to the outside world than other kids, but he is complete.

I love you Thom!

Baby Oil Again ... Dusting and Emma

There are so many different uses of baby oil.  It's amazing and one of those basics that I like to keep in the house.

I like the fact that it is non-toxic and is so versitile.

One of my favorite uses of baby oil is to dust and clean my furniture.  I have a lot of old wooden furniture around my house.  My daughter, Emma, is in charge of oiling the furniture on a regular basis.

Not only does it keep the wood moisturized and looking good, I, personally, love the smell.

We Are Women

We are women!

Yes, I'm shouting that out loud just in case you didn't know.

I'm a firm believer that as a woman, you can do anything a man can.  Perhaps, you won't be able to do it in the same manner, but if, as a woman, you set your mind to it, you can do it.

Recently, my neighbor, Koreann, upstairs had some mattresses that needed to be moved out to the dumpsters after a roommate moved out.  She thought, maybe, she should just wait until her "man" (aka, Nathan) gets home.  But, Nathan has been very sick in the hospital.

Well, I'm not one to wait on someone else to do things for me, so Koreann and I moved these huge queen size mattresses ourselves.  I'm sure that the neighbors got quite the kick out of seeing the two of us with these huge mattresses precariously perched on our heads as we laughed and joked all the way to the back of our apartment complex.

The point is, that even though it may have been easier to wait, there is nothing we cannot accomplish if we set our minds to it.  True, we could have waited and had a "nice, strong man" handle it for us.  But, to me, it's important that we did it.

It's part of taking care of our family in my mind for a woman to be able to handle anything that she is faced whether it be a flat tire or a couple of queen sized mattresses that just needed to go.

Anika, the Nail Polish(ed) Kitten

My darling daughter, Anika, was at it again.

Tonight, she decided to paint herself up as a kitty kat.  The little girl locked herself in my bedroom and painted herself using brown nailpolish.

"Oh no!".

 Removing nail polish from arms or legs would be one thing.  I could use some standard nail polish remover, but her face ... well, you don't want to use nail polish remover on a toddler's face, especially so closer to their eyes.

Once again, baby oil to the rescue.

Put some baby oil on a wash cloth or other soft cloth (not too smooth).  It takes a bit of rubbing, but it comes off fairly easily.

Of course, I had to create a little video of our little Anika and posted it on YouTube.  I couldn't help myself.  I'm sure other mom's have run into this, so I had to share.  (Removing Baby Oil From Skin)

She will always keep me on my toes :)

Random Thoughts about the Stay-at-Home Mom

This is an excerpt from an old post of mine from a different site.  I was thinking about this today, and realize, sometimes, my thoughts just don't really change on topics.  Other times they do.  

January 30, 2009 - Random thoughts from an overheard comment

January 30, 2009 at 10:53pm

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Okay, it's not nice to eavesdrop. I know that, you know that, pretty much everyone knows that. But if people don't want you overhearing their conversations they should go someplace private or shut their door, especially at the office.

I find it curious, why do some professional women find that they have to be so critical of other women who choose to stay at home, either as a house wife or stay at home mom. Personally as a working mom, I give kuddos to those stay at homes. I know a few and their job is just as demanding as mine, perhaps, in ways, more so.

So, I was sitting at my desk, and a female professional who I am near starts talking on the phone. No biggie. Then she starts going on and on about how this old friend of hers is now a house wife and she can't understand how she could waste herself doing that. Sometimes it takes everything I have to not do one of a couple things. 1. go shut their door or 2. open my mouth and comment.

Here's my feelings. Of the stay at home types I know, well, okay, I'm jealous, and I'm not too big to admit it. If the economy wasn't what it was, I'd do everything I can to be among your ranks.

...

As for the stay at homes, well, they don't have it easy either. They work hard, keeping things in order, juggling children and schedules and the house... let me tell you, when the kids are home all day, the house does take a beating. How they do it, I honestly don't know. Many do so much more too, maybe take a class or volunteer work of one sort or another. Most of the stay at home moms I've met have multiple children. These are some brilliant women too. I don't think that their skills are wasted. Children are the greatest gift there is.

Two of the finest stay at homes I've ever met, never made me feel guilty about being a working mom. Both have/had three children, some with special needs. If you've never had a child with special needs you may not realize how much research goes into it.

I remember Jessica so clearly. Jessica was a good friend who passed away of cancer several years ago. She was a stay at home mom who home schooled. Her kids knew her love and she gave them it all. Jessica could schedule the three kids and all their various medical appointments (the oldest two had a multitude of special needs). Right up to the end, I don't think she ever let on how scared she was, or let them see her cry. They'd bring their school work to the hospital (somehow she continued to home school, something she believed in with all her being as being best for her children). They were social kids, they had friends, they were intelligent and well spoken, and well, were just great kids. Jessica was brilliant, probably one of those who if they took the test would have been a Mensan. She could have been anything she wanted to be or done anything she wanted to. I'm sure that there were those out there that judged her for staying home. Some who thought she was wasting herself on what would only be a few years of the kids being home (though honestly how many careers last 18+ years).

When people make comments about stay at home moms, I think of Jessica. Her life was not wasted. She loved staying home with her children. She loved teaching them. She had a lasting affect on so many lives that go past the nuclear family. ... If it wasn't for Jessica and how she advocated so for her children, how she encouraged [me], I wouldn't be half the mom I am today.

I am by no means perfect. I know my tongue slips at times and I say the wrong thing without meaning to. I am not the perfect mom. I make my share of mistakes.

So, I guess what I'm saying is, if you want to put down those moms/women who choose to stay home, whether it be as a house wife or a stay at home mom, think a moment. These women do not make female equality any less. I think that they actually help to strengthen it. They are not less than those of us who go out of the home to work. How many working moms have "left it to the stay at home moms" to do the bake sales, or be the brownie leaders, or chaperons on field trips. If you truly felt that they were lesser than yourself, could you trust them to do those things, would you even want them to?

Photo Op -- Well, Kinda.

No, those aren't driver's licenses or permits.  They are new state issued identification cards.

I decided it was time to get my oldest son, Fred, a photo ID.  Afterall, he's growing up and it's time that he's going to want to start hanging out with friends and exploring on his own.  So, I decided to take him down to our local Tax Collector's Office (otherwise known as Department of Motor Vehicles) and get him his first ID.

I don't think anyone doubts that getting a photo ID for their child can be a good thing.  I'm sure that not everyone would go to the extent of getting one from their local DMV.  But, since his identification is state issued, it will be easier in a few years to obtain his learner's permit.  He will already have his first part of identification.

Another reason, well, Fred doesn't look or act like your normal 12 year old boy.  Most people who meet him think he's 14 or 15 because of his height and maturity.  He can hold an intelligent conversation on more topics than I can count and is an eloquent speaker.  So, here's the proof positive, this is my baby!  He's just a little kid, even if he is taller than you.  Proof is right there on his ID - born in 2002!  Yeap, all 5 foot 8 of him is just a little kid.

Have you ever tried to get a driver's license in Florida?  It's not always an easy process.  You really have to prove who you are.  It took me over a year after moving to Florida to prove that I was who I was to obtain my state driver's license.  I decided then that I would eventually get the identification cards through the state for my children.  No denying it, here's Fred; and, here's Thomas.  When it's time for them to obtain their state driver's learning permits, it's going to be a whole lot easier than it would have been.

Anyone who has ever had to stand or sit waiting at a DMV would know that it can be a hassle.  But, I think it was well worth it.

P.S.  Both boys are also now listed as Organ Donors :)  I'm so proud of them.

Autism Does Not Mean Stupid

My son Thomas has autism.

When Thomas was 3 1/2 years old he was diagnosed with "high functioning" classic autism.  I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, and I wanted to hold my baby tight and yell at the world that "He's still MY Little!"

Thomas was placed in a special pre-school class and received Speech Therapy for receptive and expressive language.  We found he had a number of sensory difficulties, and was especially photo-sensitive.  At one point when we lived in Virginia, he was a Project LifeSaver kid through the sheriff's department because of his wanderings.

Through everything, if anyone asked me what I liked best about Thomas, I would say "his heart".  There is something about the boy that makes your heart melt.  He loves everyone.  And, even if he can't necessarily stand to be hugged, you know he loves people.

But, through it all, Thomas was never not intellectually there.  He may vacate out into an absence seizure, or twirl a little and click his tongue.  He may emotionally seem a little closer to a child half his age, but he has always been so very smart.  At school, he moved from having an Individual Educational Plan (IEP) to having nothing while I fought to get him a 504 plan.  He received his 504 plan last year.  He needs extra time on tests, and has trouble with his ability to write legibly.  His short term memory can be a bit faulty, and he is very consistent about not remembering that he has homework too.  After all, the teacher didn't say "Thomas, you need to do pages 10, 11 and 12 tonight", she just said "Do pages 10, 11 and 12" not who was supposed to do them.

Something happened today.

Today, Grandma took him to school to meet his new teacher and find out where his classroom is.  Turns out, that the Thomman is not in a normal class this year.  He will not be with all the other "normal" mainstream kids this year studying along at what he consider's an easy pace.

No, Thomas has been moved to the 5th grade gifted class!

His most recent teacher recognized that this kid is smart! Not just run of the mill smart, but really very intelligent!  It doesn't matter if he does click his tongue in class, or needs extra time to write his work because it can be physically painful.  It doesn't matter that he has to wear tinted glasses to keep the room in shadows or that he needs his teacher to sign off that he actually has homework.

I am so proud of my son Thomas!

We'd have a special dinner for him tonight ... I was thinking ice cream and cake, but I know that would upset him and he'd say we skipped dinner.  So, looks like Mac-n-Cheese followed by a healthy serving of ice cream!