Inciting Racism

Another article read that can do nothing but incite problems.

The first article I saw when I opened up my Yahoo browser today was "Bill O'Reilly says 'the left wants power taken away from the white establishment'".

This is not what America is supposed to be!  The article was bad enough to incite anger, but the comments ... is this really how the far right feels?  That females, non-whites, non-Christians are a problem, that we should all bow down to the white male Christian?

I know many people who are on the right, and I've never heard such bologna from any of them.  Is this words that they are afraid to say?  I truly would hope not.

Guess what?  This country was built on the backs of immigrants, women, and minorities, all of whom have contributed to this country.  There should be no question that they deserve just as much of a say in what makes this country as anyone else.

In 2008, when the presidential race was Romney vs. Obama, I was excited.  Want to know why?  Because, I truly believed we had come so far as a country.  I believed that, for once, that the race was putting aside religion and race, and that we would be able to look at the actual policies and principals of the individuals.  At first, after the 2008 election, it looked like that was true.  But, as the years went on, I heard more about race and religious issues than I had ever heard in my adult life.  Now, it seems that race is becoming an even bigger issue, and it's one that makes me fearful for my friends and neighbors.  I will continue to raise my children that there people are people regardless of color of their skin or the house of worship they attend.  I will not succumb to this racist anger that is being perpetrated.

If this far right that is now to be in charge of this fine country of ours wants to accomplish anything, then the first thing that has to happen is address this part of their constituency.  To address the fact that yes, there is white privileged, and find ways to ensure that all people in this country are represented.  I truly hope that this is not how Mr. Trump feels.  I fear that it may be, but I still have hope that as he faces the responsibilities of being president and representative of such a diverse country that he will look and see the accomplishments of it, and will see the injustices that have been carried out.

Move On E-mail

I received an e-mail, one like so many others I've received in the past.  You see, I joined MoveOn.org several years ago and signed a petition on something I felt strongly about.  Since then, I've signed several positions.  I don't sign everyone that I see, some are for things I believe in, and if it is something I strongly believe in and have done my homework on, I will may just add my name.  

Today's e-mail though bothered me.  It was soliciting funds.  No big deal, they do it all the time.  Usually, I ignore these solicitations.  But, something caught my eye.  ...

 
I like MoveOn, I like that it brings to the surface many different and worthwhile issues that in our busy lives we may overlook.  But, I do not like this.  It raised my emotions, as it was meant to do.

So, I did what I always try to do.  I tried to double check this, and it wasn't easy.  In fact, I had trouble finding Mr. Trump's direct attacks on MoveOn.  Now, supporters, that's a different matter, but I can't always blame him for what his supporters do.

The best I could do was find a quote from March 2016 after Mr. Trump cancelled a rally in Chicago:

What they've done really on the other side - it was MoveOn.org or other groups - these are bad groups, bad groups.  These are bad people.  Let me tell you... These are people who really don't want to see our country be great again, let me tell you.

This was almost a year ago, before Mr. Trump was even the Republican candidate, much less President-Elect.

I'd like to say to Mr. Trump, we are part of this country and also very much wish our country to be great.  In fact, many of us still think it is a great country.  It has it's flaws, but all in all, it's pretty darn great.

But, I digress...

I don't appreciate that Mr. Trump had something negative to say about a group that I do find can be worthwhile.  I don't always agree with the petitions, but a big part of them is bringing the issues to light for me.  To make me question the big picture and the little picture together.

I hope that Mr. Trump has changed his mind about MoveOn.org.  It may take his supporters longer to unless he leads them by saying something directly.  I don't see that right now he has any real reason to do that, but it may happen one day.

In the meantime, just as I am calling on Trump supporters to stop the name-calling, I'm asking that of those who did not support him.  Henchmen is a strong word, and one that should not be used lightly in connection with our president-elect.

Thanks,
Pumpkin

The Christmas Tree - Put the Blame in the Right Place

I read the title, as I'm so sure so many other people did "Alabama official apologizes for chopping public park tree for Trump rally".  My first impression was one of those moments, where you immediately want to judge someone, and, that would be Mr. Trump.

But, this wasn't him.  Oh, I'm sure he would have wanted a "big" tree, the "biggest".  But, it wasn't Mr. Trump who took an old beautiful tree from public land and used.  It was the town's mayor's aide.  You could probably go farther down the totem pole, but that's who made the decision.

As much as I will be watching his decisions and what is going on, just as I watch other public officials.  This one, though, we can't and shouldn't blame on him.

It's a prime example of the slant that our media takes in so much.  The words were chosen to make an impact before even one word of the article was read.

It's a time for vigilance.  Read and check facts.  The title will draw you in, they need us the reader to open the article and be engaged.

So, as the year winds up, and the new year begins, we will be seeing more and more of this.  Keep your eyes and minds open.

Political Pissy Moment

Political pissy moment... (don't read unless you understand this is just a vent) ... So, seems so many people think that the less populated areas should have the say over more populated areas and for urban dwellers to shut up... do you want to take aware our voice completely?

Today, the electoral college meets in just over a hour. They will vote Mr. Trump into office, I have no illusions about this.

What is bugging at me is this ... stop it! Just stop it! Just because someone voted against him, does not make them a snowflake. Stop your fake news stories! Stop tromping all over anyone you perceive as liberal just because they say something you don't agree with.

Guess what? You weren't all quiet these last 8 years. We all heard you loud and clear. I heard when our president was made fun of with foul jokes and memes. I heard you when you called for action and laughed that we should go a year when a supreme court justice died, because you didn't want anyone who may possibly have any liberal leanings in position. We heard you. We heard you and that's why so many people are pissed off right now.

Because you were shouting at us all. You were shouting at everyone who didn't agree with you and acting like spoiled brats. Now you are accusing us of the same if we so much as open our mouths.

Guess what? I don't like the idea of Trump as president. I feel he has too many complicated conflicts of interest. I don't like his choices of big business leaders for cabinet positions. I don't like his moral values AT ALL. I don't like how he talks to women. I don't like how he disrespects our allies. I find him wishy washy. The way he speaks is a white American version of ebonics. Both are equally disgusting to hear of someone who is supposed to be representing this great diverse country. I just don't like him. He may do some good things, and he may do some bad things. Right now, I'm not seeing much hope with his idea of "draining the swamp". This draining of the swamp is putting people in seriously important positions for the purpose of dismantling and undermining the purposes of those government agencies.

I'm not crying about it just because I speak my mind.

I will not throw a toddler style tantrum as too many have over the last 8 years. What I will do is stand up for my fellow Americans - all of them.

I am a moderate. I am middle of the road. I have pretty much an equal amount of "conservative" views as "liberal" ones. And, why in tarnations, is conservation and being "green" a "liberal" view? I learned how to be green from some of the most conservative people around.

I look for the truth in the news, and I suggest everyone else does. Stop believing everything you read or hear. Most of it has a slant to it. News is no longer news, it's now entertainment, it's about getting the most views and making money for the company.

And, if you don't agree with what is going on, speak up. I don't care if you are Republican, Democrat, Independent, or something else. If we all don't speak up, we will never be heard.

And, let this be a reminder to everyone. We are NOT a democracy. This is a Republic. Also, this is a capitalist society. And, right now, the capitalist part is being heard loud and clear. We are in for a ride for the next 4 years, it may be good for some, but it's also going to be hard going for a lot of people. I, for one, predict, that people will have to face up to the fact that capitalism won out this election, and the people will speak with their votes in 4 years. In the meantime, bunker down, stick together, AND remember, that conservative or liberal neighbor of yours, is also an American, and their views are just as important. Give them a hug, send them a Christmas card, but don't insult them, don't demean them. That is not what we are about.

Rant over... for now.

Saying Goodbye to the "Safe" Government Job

As part of the private sector, I've joked for years that if I had it to do all over again, I would have gotten a "safe government job" like my dad told me to.  Instead, I went to for the job in the private sector.  Don't get me wrong, I love what I do every day.  But, I haven't loved watching as benefits have eroded over the years and employee value has steadily decreased.

As the private sector has watched these things happen, those in government positions have held a safety blanket around their positions.  As described in the Washington Post article, "Trump has a plan for government workers.  They're not going to like it", all this could change under President-elect Trump.

Some people will argue that wages for a government job are often less than those of similar position in the private sector and that the benefits are to offset this.  I argue that though that was once the case, it often is not anymore.

As an example, according to Federalpay.org, the average receptionist salary in 2015 for a government employee was $34,434.86, while the national average in 2016 according to Glassdoor was only $24,800.  Over half of private sector employers do not offer health insurance and few if any benefits.  This is a fact of life for much of our country.  To be fair, a position with more schooling such as a pharmacist has an average salary in 2015 for a government employee of $113,926.96 whereas the national average in the private sector was $120,000.

The hit by the recession was felt hard in the private sector as jobs eroded and benefits disappeared.  I am not advocating that they should be completely equal, it is much more difficult to get a government position than a private sector one.  Often times, it also requires security clearances, these things should be taken into account.

However, if the country is going to slim down the federal government and bureaucracy, then making the federal employee benefits more in line with what is now considered competitive in the private sector is something that will have to come.

Many of the benefits for federal government employees are not going anywhere.  They are not at risk of losing their health benefits as many private sector employees have.  Nor, are they going to lose benefits such as leave.  There is little wiggle room with federal benefits to make changes.

But, Mr. Trump isn't just talking about benefits though.  In fact, one of the things he is also talking about is the ability to fire a federal employee.  This can be a tricky slope, and maybe, just maybe, this is one place that the man known for "You're fired" could be person to make it happen.  Employees no matter who they work for should be held accountable for doing the job they are hired to do.  If they don't, then they either need to buck up and do it, or find something else.

Don't be surprised if Mr. Trump puts a hiring freeze, or at least a limit to new hiring, into effect when he comes into office.  I won't be.  And, there is ample precedent to do just that.  Once he is in office and is able to see for himself, we shall see how it turns out.  His hands on approach may help him here.  He has run his companies with a heavy hand at times, now there will be limits on what he can do.  He won't be able to walk in and fire someone if he doesn't like their attitude or even if they are sitting idle at their desk, but he will be able to help craft a budget or act to put things in place to take care of things.

We can only hope that Mr. Trump uses his experience to review, evaluate and take the right action when it comes to the workplace.  I hope he understands that these employees have often never dealt with what it is like to work in the private sector just as he has never known what it is like to be a federal employee.  It's going to be a learning curve for everyone.

ObamaCare - A Personal Note

Completing my annual healthcare.gov application. For those of you who are against ObamaCare, just remember. It's because of ObamaCare that many people in this country have insurance coverage. Not every job offers insurance. Not everyone can afford a plan on their own. Without insurance, if I were to get sick, I would become a much bigger burden on society than any amount of "subsidy" that I may receive for my healthcare plan.

Actually, let's get even a bit more personal. Without ObamaCare, I would be a danger to drive, I would become a drag on society, I would be practically blind. With ObamaCare, I was able to get the much needed surgery to restore my eyesight. It wasn't an elective procedure, I was quickly losing my sight. In less than a year, I had gone from 20/375 eyesight to over 20/1000 eyesight and it was continuing to decline rapidly.

No, I don't like the uptick on the premiums. Yes, I wish there was a better option. But, if you are going to yell and scream about how bad it is, or that people need to get a job, keep in mind, most of us have jobs. I have a job, it doesn't pay decent, but I have not been able to find another one in my field in this area.

I work. I pay taxes. I am a contributing member of society. I have ObamaCare. And, I am not a slacker.

Upset in the Electoral College

Ah, do I have your attention now?

Yes, technically, the electoral college could elect Clinton as our next president.  Don't believe me, even I wasn't sure that was true.  So, I did a little research.  In a resent article on Fact Check, "Could Electoral College Elect Clinton?" explains just how this could happen.

However, I do not believe it should happen.  Regardless of how I may feel personally about President-elect Trump, he is our next president.  Our system is not perfect, but it is our system for a variety of reasons.  If we do not like it, then, we have an obligation to reach out to our individual states and look for new solutions.  If we are going to complain about the unfairness of the electoral college, then we need to do more than spout out words on FaceBook or post memes on Twitter.  Don't like it, neither do I, but let's do something about it then.

I've had a few lively discussions lately about the Electoral College.  I've heard both sides of the fence on this.  Mostly, I've heard people who are upset with Trump's win wanting to abolish it.  That is not going to happen.  The groundwork of our Electoral College was laid down in the 2nd article of the Constitution.  But, the Electoral College as we know it was refined by the 12th Amendment.

There have been more proposals set forth to amend the 12th amendment than any other constitutional amendment.  Constitutional amendments are the pulse of our changing nation of our attitudes and values.  They reflect how society and this country has matured over the past couple hundred years.  A search of the U.S. Congress website for legislation proposed regarding "electoral" representatives or college resulted in over 1,500 hits.  That's a lot, and it's going to take me awhile to sort through them all to get to the heart of it.  Even so, it is evident that this is not a Democrat v. Republican issue.  The issues have been brought up by both sides at different times.

In 1987, the American Bar Association has criticized the Electoral College as being "archaic" and "ambiguous".  Wow.  That's all I have to say, just "wow".  This particular reference I am still reviewing and researching.  One article of particular interest in 1996, by Joel Goldstein for the American Bar Association Division of Public Education, entitled "Electoral College Is it a dinosaur that should be abolished or a last bastion of democracy?" made some interesting points both for and against the current system.

One of the predominant reasons I have been hearing in support of the Electoral College is that it gives those states with a lower population a say in the elected President.  I agree that it does.  In the early 1900s, that proportional weight was not so great.  The Midwest and many parts of this country was filled with family farms and small towns.  Today, many small towns have all but disappeared and the family farm has lost way to massive conglomerate operations.  Many of those displaced from the rural areas have moved to the cities.  They have brought their values with them.  At the same time, the population of the urban and suburban areas has increased drastically.  Suburbia did not exist as we know it in the 1800s, or even the early 1900s.  It is a creation of our modern times.  As the population of our country increases, the proportional weight of less populous states will carry more and more weight in the election of our President, it will become the rural "gentry" and the country "gentleman" who will make the decision for the country.

I don't see the electoral college being abolished.  I do not see an amendment occurring to the 12th amendment.  That does not mean hope is lost!

We have a chance now to make our voices heard for the coming years.  The upset about the electoral college is not going to happen because of petitions trying to convince an electoral college to change their mind.  It should not, it is part of our democratic procedure.  That doesn't mean that we need to sit by idly and not move for a change.  Do your homework, find out who in your state executive you can contact and what you can do to make a change.  The change will not happen at the federal level, this is a change that needs to happen at a state level.

Let's make our voices by heard.




 

Since the election, I hear a lot about "snowflakes" and adults acting like "children" for being upset about the election.  Here's a little something for you to consider as we continue to talk to our children about the election. 

My daughter has a half brother, who is absolutely adorable and handsome and smart. He is also a quarter Cuban. No big deal, right? Except, that she was afraid her brother would be deported. Her brother who was born here in the US to US citizens. Her brother who has a very respectable grandfather who came to this country and made a good and honest life for himself. She was afraid that Trump would send her brother away and build a wall. 

So, when I worry about how this election has affected our children, take heart, there is a reason, and it is very personal. Her name is Anika and she is 5 years old. She is a child and she cried. I explained to her that no one would ever be sending her brother away or kicking him out of the country. She doesn't understand what a country is. She doesn't understand that there are different religions. She doesn't understand that there are different races. She understands that she loves her brother dearly.

Yes, I understand that President-Elect Trump is not building a wall.  I understand that he is not deporting American citizens.  But, our children don't always understand.  It may takes days, weeks, or even months for them to come to us with their fears or concerns.  

Answer them truthfully, but keep in mind they are children.  And, the thing they first need to know is that you love them and that you will protect them no matter what they may see on the news, or in the schools.

I will continue to teach my children love and respect for ALL people, regardless of race or creed. And, when my children grow up, they will continue that legacy.

Quiet for Too Long

I moved to Florida, life seemed to fall apart, and I shut my mouth.

I didn't talk often about what was important to me, I felt unimportant.

Why?

I was no longer a valuable, contributing member of society.  Or, so I thought.

I needed public assistance and was completely embarrassed.  After all, isn't that what happens to those who don't take care of their responsibilities?  Aren't food stamps for "slackers".  Obamacare is for people who don't work, isn't it?  The answer to all of these questions is a resounding "NO".

I did not want to bring attention to myself and my family, so I kept my mouth shut.

Well, the time has come... I am going to open my mouth.  I am going to speak about what is important to myself and my family.

By keeping my mouth shut and not speaking up, I have added to the problem.  I added to the misconception of the poor being uneducated and not worthy.

My children and I worked hard together.  It may have been me bringing in the paycheck, but they contributed.  They got along when we had no where to live but a two bedroom apartment.  They smiled when I knew they were sad that Momma said, "We are going to Salvation Army for school clothes.  We have to save."

Today, we have moved out of that situation.  Things are still tough, and they will be for a long time.  But, it is time for this Momma to stop hiding in a cave for fear of what the rest of the world thinks, and saying what is important.

Electoral College Number Crunch

Alright, I crunched my numbers... this whole electoral college thing has been bothering me. So, think of it this way.... Why does it take 3.75 people in Texas to have the vote power of one person in Wyoming. Yes, I did a whole chart of the entire country, and will be adding to it. It wouldn't have changed the outcome if our process was better proportioned with their value, or maybe it would have. I haven't finished all my computations yet.

My point is, my vote should not be lesser because I live in a more populous state. If all things were equal, Texas should have 142 electoral votes to Wyoming's 3 electoral votes. Both sides are being devalued by this system. I'm not saying abolish it, though I think it has had it's day. Yet, there is no way we are going to get a constitutional amendment to change it. Our votes cannot be so disproportionate. States need to rethink how these votes are cast.

Another issue, the electoral college is based on number of seats in Congress, which in turn is based on the census. So, if one state has a huge population growth in between censuses, they will not be accurately represented by Congress or the electoral college. As long as we stick with the electoral college, I see no way to change this aspect of it. And, that is a bag of worms, I don't think anyone wants to open up.

This is not being a snowflake or crying about not winning. This is being realistic. The electoral college was not set up to protect less populous states from the big bad city dwellers, who I believe that if we look at it would also be disproportionately minorities as compared to the lower population states ... another column to look at in my chart.

I want my vote to count. I don't want to think, "okay, it will take myself and 3.63 other people in Florida to vote for the same person to be equal to a vote by someone in Wyoming".

Or, how about this, if you want it structured as it is based on Congress, meaning there will not be a higher total than there is currently of electoral votes. Why don't we go on our congressional districts? Then, the two minimum of electoral votes for each state go to the popular vote for that state.

For instance, if the 2nd District of Florida (Tallahassee) had a popular vote for the Democrat, then their electoral vote should go to the Democrat. In the same light, if the 4th District of Florida (Jacksonville) had a popular vote for the Republican, then their electoral vote should go to the Republican. At the same time, if the total popular vote for Florida went for the Republican, then the 2 electoral votes for the state which are allocated based on our seats in the Senate would go to the Republican candidate. Each area then is represented by their constituency. No, I am still not saying it would have changed the final outcome, but at least people would know their vote actually counted. I, for one, feel my vote in this presidential election did not count because of the winner take all consensus of the electoral college.

Don't tempt me, I may also go figure this out as well.

Prison Should Not Be Relief from Child Support

This morning, I read an article through Yahoo News entitled "Prison Is No Relief From Child Support".  The article talks about a move to require states to reduce the amount of child support owed by an incarcerated parent.

Whatever a person's feelings are on the incarcerated parent, or the parent who is not incarcerated and is carrying for any children, it does not diminish the needs of the child.  Having a parent in jail is hard on children.  Now, let's make it a little harder.

As a parent who is owed back child support, I can say, it hurts terribly.  I am not going to allow my child to suffer for it though.  I also know that eventually, I will see that child support.  It's already as if I am giving the other parent an interest free loan for his portion of raising our child.

Now, let's take that a step farther, if he was to commit a crime and end up in jail, that should be on him.  It should not be for me,  I should not be penalized if he committed a crime.

The article says that all the responsible parent wants is some type of reimbursement.  But, if there is to be a settlement made, then let me have a word in it.  What if, as the other parent who is all of the sudden not receiving their child support, debt is incurred.  They may well be dependent on knowing that eventually the amount owed them is going to be paid.  That light at the end of the tunnel, that somehow, someday, it will come.  I know for me, that light has been a beacon in the past.

There is another side to this as well, and that is the side of those who do make their child support payments faithfully.  Who care about their children and do everything they can to care for them.  What about all those great parents out there that put their kids first, that make sure that their children are cared for?  Committing a crime and being send to jail is completely a voluntary underemployment issue.  By reducing the amount of child support on those who commit criminal acts, is rewarding those ill acts, it is also devaluing the good parents out there who will do anything to care for their children.

I have a great amount of respect for parents on both sides of the fence out there.  There should be respect for those who are on the receiving end of child support and for those who pay child support.  These parents should not be disrespected and devalued by such regulations.  Regulations such as this only will hurt good parents out there and reward criminals.

A Young Man With What It Takes To Succeed

Yesterday, I wrote about some of my thoughts when applying for a new position.  It was maybe a bit too blunt for some people.  I really want to apologize for offending anyone, but this is one of those times I am not going to.  I'm not going to because it was meant as something helpful, especially for a lot of younger people out there that just don't seem to have a clue.

This morning when I woke up, I perused the normal social media sites to see if there was anything interesting today that really spoke to me. I found it in an article on CNN entitled "Teen Goes to Target Looking For A Tie, And Gets That And More".

This is what I'm talking about!

It's right on the nose.  Here is this young man going to what is probably his very first interview ever.  He takes it seriously.  He makes sure he's dressed professionally, he listens to advice of others on how to handle himself.

But, that's not what really spoke to me the most.

He was interviewing at Chik-fil-A.  Yes, you read that correctly.  He was getting dressed professionally for a job interview for fast food.  I can't even put into words how impressed I am.  With too many of the people I've seen come and go for interviews, this young man is the exception, and I work in a professional office!

This young man is going to go somewhere in life.  He is going to make it and I don't doubt he is going to make it big.  He has that drive to do the job and take pride in it, even if it's considered to be one of the lower jobs in the country.

Best of luck to you young man whoever you are!

So You Want A Job?

It's crazy busy at work.  We have so much to do that the day finally came that we need some help.  I must say that I was excited... yeah! 

My boss put an ad on Craigslist.  It was a pretty standard ad.  We just need a part-time receptionist to begin with.  Ideally, this is someone that we can train to do more and really help with our clients in the future.

We received around 400 responses to our ad.  So, how does someone make themselves stand out to get that call. 

1.   This is a professional office, please do not use hot pink lettering on your resume.  Yes, it will make you stand out, but not in the way you were hoping.

2.   If the ad asks for a cover letter, and you do not include one, the chances of you being considered are pretty nil.

3.  Check your grammar!  I received literally dozens of resumes and cover letters that had horrific grammar.  These were not instances of spell check or grammar check going wrong.  I even saw some that did not include any capitalization or punctuation.  

4.  Keep the cover letter short and sweet.  A couple paragraphs should do the trick.  I really have a lot of them to go over so if you cover letter is a full page and single spaced, I probably won't read the whole thing.

5.  Different font sizes may be okay in some situations, but please don't use multiple fonts and font sizes in the same paragraph.  All that this shows me is that you are not detailed and don't care about how something looks.

Okay, now you made it past the resume stage.  You have received that call to possibly set up an interview.  What should you or should you not do?

1.  Do not talk with your mouth full.

2.  I understand that I may be calling you at home or out and about.  I understand that there may be kids hollering in the background.  I'm a mom, I get it.  If this happens, ask if you can call me back, and then call back as soon as you can.  If you wait a day or two, I will probably have moved on and scheduled someone else already for that interview.

3.  Be friendly.  I am not saying act as if you are my best friend, but be pleasant.  This is for a receptionist position.  If your phone mannerisms are not good, then you won't be coming in for that in-person interview.  

Yeah!  The interview is scheduled, it's time to meet your potential employer or supervisor.  Here are a few tips for you.

1.  Do not drown yourself in perfume.  I already know that you were sitting in your car for a half hour chain smoking, I would rather you take a moment and go to the ladies room to freshen up first then douse yourself in cologne right before you walk in.  I'd rather know you are a smoker from the get go then you try to hide it.  

2.  This is an interview, do not come dressed to go out to the mall or a night out.  Corduroys are not fine.  Skin-tight latex pants are not fine.  I do not expect that you will be coming dressed in a three piece suit, but please take some time to think about how you should dress for the type of work environment you are applying for.

3.  Do some homework.  It may be for only a receptionist position, but find out what type of business you are interviewing at.  You have our name, our address and I told you a little about us during the telephone interview, Google us.  I want to see some initiative, I especially want to see if you will take that extra step before you come in.  If you do, then you are more likely to take the extra step with our clients.

4.  Take off your outside jacket.  I know that it's chilly outside, but I want to know that you can make yourself comfortable.  If you look like you are ready to run for the door, you probably don't belong sitting in that chair across from me.

5.  Absolutely follow-up.  Write a short e-mail saying thank you would be great.  I want the feedback as much as you do.  I want to know that you are really interested in this position.

*    *    * 

Now, good luck in that job hunt.  I know it's not easy out there right now, so it is more important than ever to put your best foot forward. 

Becoming Self-Reliant

Recently I was visiting a new church and self reliance came up.

Such an interesting topic if you really think about it.  When most people think of self reliance they think solely of what it means to simply take care of themselves and their own needs without assistance of anything outside of their own bubble.

When I think of self reliance the same thing comes to mind, but it really goes so much further.

You see, I've been there, done that.  I've experienced too many things that really shot down my own confidence in being self reliant.  Still, I kept kicking.  If it wasn't for my children, I don't know if I could have accomplished all I have been able to.

I became dependent upon my children.  Not dependent upon them providing for me, they are too young for that.  But, they became my inspiration.  I could have laid back and taken the pity road, allowed myself to join the circle of poverty that is so prevelant.  I simply couldn't accept that.  I am greedy.  I wanted more.  I especially wanted more for my children.

I know that I'm not fully on my feet again.  I know that I will be.  I've had to take a helping hand through the "System".  That didn't mean that I did so lightly.

One of the first parts of becoming self reliant meant swallowing my ego and asking for help.  I had to look at myself, my situation, my surroundings.  I had to evaluate them.  Was I truly doing the best I could do?

My children became my inspiration.  I wanted better for them.  I wanted to be able to spoil them with kisses and love, but also I wanted to provide everything that they needed plus some.   I became dependent upon my children.  If I thought I could do no more, I'd take a look at them.  I'd listen to their stories, their dreams, their everything.

The more I depended upon those little inspirations, those smiles and kisses, the more I was able to to do.

When I was at this new church the other day, someone said (to paraphrase) that the more they came to depend on God to help them through the more self reliant they became.   As I think about that discussion, especially in retrospect, I have to smile and nod.  I can see that, and I can understand that.  You see, I think that God has been acting through my children to give me the inspiration I needed.

Mom Doesn't Know Best

Yet again, some parents are being investigated by CPS for ... allowing their children to walk go to the park alone.

This time the children are 6 and 10.

Six to me is young to being going to the park.  At the same time, this is something similar to what I've done.

A couple years ago, I would let my oldest son walk my younger son to his friend's house a few blocks away.  The deal was simple, he had to call as soon as he arrived and he had to call before he left so someone could come get him.  Fred was 10 and Thom was 8.

He wasn't allowed to cross the street alone.  My biggest concern wasn't someone snatching the boys.  It was a safe neighborhood.  Kids were always running and riding bikes around.  My biggest concern that because of Thom's height, a car may not see him.

When we were kids, in 1st and 2nd grade, we were allowed to go the park, and roam the neighborhood.  Our parents deemed it safe.  If we had lived in a different neighborhood that wasn't so safe, I don't doubt my parents would have said no.

Today, my mother watches the kids after school.  They are not allowed to play outside without supervision.  Emma has friends in the neighborhood, but still, she isn't allowed.  Emma is 8.  The reason is that she is afraid it isn't safe.

The world has changed.  Or rather, attitudes have changed.

Twenty years ago, you rarely heard about the things that happened two towns over, much less in another state.   Now, we constantly hear it.  We are inundated with it.

My aunt was a social worker in small town Pennsylvania.  I don't remember much about what she did, but I do remember from time to time having to go on a late night run to check on a report or neglect or abuse.  This type of thing happened then also.  Our world isn't safer or less safe.  We are more informed.  And, sometimes that knowledge does not add to better our lives, but instead hinders us and makes us fearful.

Commuting Thoughts - Birth Certificates and Race

My Daughter Has An IPad

The economy today is horrific.  There is no denying it.  Families all over the country are finding themselves with little or no savings.  Most are only a paycheck or two away from homelessness themselves.

It seems that everyday I read another article online about another family online who is willing to be the brunt of an article.  They are willing to open themselves up to the criticism that they know will follow.  

Today's article (A Day in the Life of a Family of 6 Trying to Survive on Fast Food Wages)  featured in the New York Magazine is about a family in Texas.  Four of the family members work in fast food.  Dad is ill, Mom works two jobs, and two of the high school daughters also work.  They live in a small apartment.  

When I read these articles, I always take the time to look at the comments that people have left.  Inevitably there is the comments about having too many children.  What got me today was the other comments that are so common.  They have an iPod.  

Oh no!  How dare they have something for entertainment!

Take a step back now please... when was the last time you saw an iPod?  There aren't that many being used anymore.  Most of the iPods out there are old, many scratched up, and still many more sitting in a drawer doing nothing.  I know that a lot of people think that this family should take that little iPod and pawn it or sell it some other way.  For all of you out there, is the $10 or $15 worth it?  Is it worth to sell this trinket, a bit of normality and entertainment, for what wouldn't even amount to a family meal?

You see, my daughter has an iPad.  Not an iPod like this family, but an actual iPad.  It's a first generation one without any camera and most of the newer apps won't work on it because it can't be upgraded anymore.  Her iPad was a gift for her 8th birthday last September.  It's not the greatest and it dosen't always charge correctly, but she loves it.  

Last weekend I took her to the pawn shop with me.  She was going to trade in her iPad and with a few dollars savings that she had saved up wanted to get one with a camera.  They offered us $15 for her little iPad.  The next step up would be almost $200.  Needless to say, that was a lot more than this little girl of 8 had saved up and a lot more than Momma could afford to add to her savings.  She choose to keep her beloved iPad.  

I know that people question how I could possibly justify her having an iPad when I make barely over minimum wage myself.  I justify it simply as it gives her enjoyment.  They don't need to know that it was a gift or that selling it would only merit $15.  

My daughter sacrifices a lot already.  The five of us live in a two bedroom apartment.  The boys have a room and us girls share a room.  Only last month was I able to find a cot I could afford so that all three of us girls aren't sharing one bed.  Emma has her own bed again, it's a camping cot with some old couch cushions on it to make it a little more comfy.  She will lounge on it as if she's queen of the world with her precious iPad watching videos on YouTube or playing a game of MineCraft.  

Judge me if you will as you judge these families, but a $15 dollar dinner isn't worth it to me to take away a small luxury from my daughter.  

She's keeping her iPad, so go ahead and judge me like you do these other families.  It's okay.  I'm a Momma Bear, I can handle it.

Jesus and the Muslim

Oh my, am I about to open a can of worms.

There was an article today on a young Muslim man who is staring in a National Geographic special on Jesus.  Many Christians are up in arms.  I say, "STOP!"

Are you a Christian?  Doesn't that mean loving our neighbors?  Didn't Christ gather followers of all faiths and backgrounds?  He taught us through his words and actions.

As a Christian, I have no problem with this young man's role in this film special.

This young man has taken to heart the role he was asked to play in this film.  He has looked closely at his own religion and at the role of Jesus in it.

Perhaps it has brought him closer to Jesus and his teachings.

Perhaps one day he might accept Jesus as his Savior.  Perhaps not.

Even if he does not, he has opened his mind and done a lot of introspect.  The minimum of which is that he has learned from Jesus' teachings of love and being non-judgmental.  This is a lesson more Christians should learn.

Recycle Your Old Food

Ah, the question of the day, is recycling worth the extra effort.

Recently, Seattle, Washington enacted a new law when it comes to those nasty leftovers.

It is no longer acceptable to simply scrape that plate into the trash.  Now, residents are being required to recycle that old food or face fines.  It seems a lot of people are up in arms in one of the most progressive areas in the country.  For awhile now food businesses have been required to sort those waste edibles for recycling and composting.  Now, all sorts of businesses and individuals are going to be required to do the same.

I remember when no one recycled.  There was no yellow or blue bins at the side of the road on trash day.  Everyone put everything in the trash.  Some people would save and wash their tuna cans for gardening or projects, but for the most part, when you were done with it, straight to the trash it went.  Now, everyone is familiar with recycling and most people in this country recycle to some extent.  Yet, when plastic and paper recycling began, many people were upset.  They didn't want the smell sitting in their yard, it was disgusting, it was going to take too much precious time. ... ah, the reasons that people had back then.  Ironically, they are the same as today with the objections to recycling food waste.

After all, how much difference would it really make?

Recycling does make a difference.  If you question that, I invite you to my apartment complex.  For the first time in more years than I can count, I live somewhere that there is no recycling.  Every week, the huge ugly trash dumpsters fill up with everyone's garbage.  The reek is near unbearable during the summer months.  My apartment complex has around 10 dumpsters, two of which are those huge open monstrosities that you need a tractor trailer to haul off.

Across the street from us is another apartment complex.  They have only 6 smaller dumpsters and a recycling dumpster.  Their dumpsters are never full, and I've the smell is not overwhelming even on the hottest day.  That little bit of recycling that each neighbor does adds up.  Their complex is neat and the dumpsters are never overflowing.  They take recycling and reusing seriously there.  On just about any given day, you can find a decent piece of furniture, or a bag of clothing, or even a set of dishes sitting on the utility box next to one of the dumpsters.

I must admit that I've been tempted to sort out my recyclables and drop them off across the street in that other complex.  Until then, I do the little I can.... I keep a bag on my back door for aluminum cans.  Even a few of the neighbors know that they can drop their cans off at my apartment.  I then crush them and take them to my step-dad who turns them in for a little bit of extra cash.  Those few cans may not make much of a difference to some, but to me, that's one less thing in those big ugly dumpsters.

Seattle, here's what I have to say.  Please take the time and before you know it, you will wonder why the rest of the country isn't following suit.  Then again, if you don't want to have to recycle your old leftovers, maybe it's time to take a look at how much you waste.  Maybe you'll be surprised and start eating those leftovers instead of dropping them in the trash.  It certainly won't hurt your budget, unless you decide the fines are more up your alley.

Open Letter In Response to "Dear White Moms"

Dear Moms Everywhere,

I read a letter today in the Huffington Post, and it is a letter I think we all needed to read.  So, please take a moment, and read "Dear White Moms".

Why?  Because, we need to all unite to stop this madness.

I am tired.

I am tired of hearing about how an unarmed child has been shot or beat up by those who we raise them to respect and go to for help.

I am tired of this being a race issue.  It shouldn't be.  It is an issue for all of us moms everywhere in this country.  This effects us all.

I am tired of all our children learning to fear police instead of looking to them for comfort and protection.

I am an American.  I try to raise my children as Americans.  Not as "white" Americans.  I want to raise them to not see others as being different, lesser, privileged or more equal,

Perhaps now we are hearing more and more about these horrific cases because of the Internet.  If so, then... Good.  We need to know.

We all need to know that this is happening.  If we don't know, if we insulate ourselves in our "clean" suburbs, behind the doors of McMansions, and gated communities, then we we are part of the problem.

I want as much as any other mom to protect my child from the horrors of war.  But, that is what we have.  It is a war.

It is a war on all of our children.  Our children are learning to not trust those who they should feel safe to go to for help.  If our children run to a police officer, will they be shot.  If their friends are in need of help, will they be afraid because of the color of their skin.

If we as moms everywhere don't unite and find a way to stop this madness, then it will continue and it will get worse.  All of our children will suffer.

I implore all of you.  All of you moms and dads, let's fight this.  No more should die because of this war on our children.

Let us not turn a blind eye to abuses on our children.  Let's speak up and insist that our children whether they be black, white, hispanic, mixed, or of any race be treated with the respect that they as human beings deserve.

Signed,
An American Mom