This morning, I read an article through Yahoo News entitled "Prison Is No Relief From Child Support". The article talks about a move to require states to reduce the amount of child support owed by an incarcerated parent.
Whatever a person's feelings are on the incarcerated parent, or the parent who is not incarcerated and is carrying for any children, it does not diminish the needs of the child. Having a parent in jail is hard on children. Now, let's make it a little harder.
As a parent who is owed back child support, I can say, it hurts terribly. I am not going to allow my child to suffer for it though. I also know that eventually, I will see that child support. It's already as if I am giving the other parent an interest free loan for his portion of raising our child.
Now, let's take that a step farther, if he was to commit a crime and end up in jail, that should be on him. It should not be for me, I should not be penalized if he committed a crime.
The article says that all the responsible parent wants is some type of reimbursement. But, if there is to be a settlement made, then let me have a word in it. What if, as the other parent who is all of the sudden not receiving their child support, debt is incurred. They may well be dependent on knowing that eventually the amount owed them is going to be paid. That light at the end of the tunnel, that somehow, someday, it will come. I know for me, that light has been a beacon in the past.
There is another side to this as well, and that is the side of those who do make their child support payments faithfully. Who care about their children and do everything they can to care for them. What about all those great parents out there that put their kids first, that make sure that their children are cared for? Committing a crime and being send to jail is completely a voluntary underemployment issue. By reducing the amount of child support on those who commit criminal acts, is rewarding those ill acts, it is also devaluing the good parents out there who will do anything to care for their children.
I have a great amount of respect for parents on both sides of the fence out there. There should be respect for those who are on the receiving end of child support and for those who pay child support. These parents should not be disrespected and devalued by such regulations. Regulations such as this only will hurt good parents out there and reward criminals.
Showing posts with label welfare. Show all posts
Showing posts with label welfare. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Monday, January 12, 2015
My Daughter Has An IPad
The economy today is horrific. There is no denying it. Families all over the country are finding themselves with little or no savings. Most are only a paycheck or two away from homelessness themselves.
It seems that everyday I read another article online about another family online who is willing to be the brunt of an article. They are willing to open themselves up to the criticism that they know will follow.
Today's article (A Day in the Life of a Family of 6 Trying to Survive on Fast Food Wages) featured in the New York Magazine is about a family in Texas. Four of the family members work in fast food. Dad is ill, Mom works two jobs, and two of the high school daughters also work. They live in a small apartment.
When I read these articles, I always take the time to look at the comments that people have left. Inevitably there is the comments about having too many children. What got me today was the other comments that are so common. They have an iPod.
Oh no! How dare they have something for entertainment!
Take a step back now please... when was the last time you saw an iPod? There aren't that many being used anymore. Most of the iPods out there are old, many scratched up, and still many more sitting in a drawer doing nothing. I know that a lot of people think that this family should take that little iPod and pawn it or sell it some other way. For all of you out there, is the $10 or $15 worth it? Is it worth to sell this trinket, a bit of normality and entertainment, for what wouldn't even amount to a family meal?
You see, my daughter has an iPad. Not an iPod like this family, but an actual iPad. It's a first generation one without any camera and most of the newer apps won't work on it because it can't be upgraded anymore. Her iPad was a gift for her 8th birthday last September. It's not the greatest and it dosen't always charge correctly, but she loves it.
Last weekend I took her to the pawn shop with me. She was going to trade in her iPad and with a few dollars savings that she had saved up wanted to get one with a camera. They offered us $15 for her little iPad. The next step up would be almost $200. Needless to say, that was a lot more than this little girl of 8 had saved up and a lot more than Momma could afford to add to her savings. She choose to keep her beloved iPad.
I know that people question how I could possibly justify her having an iPad when I make barely over minimum wage myself. I justify it simply as it gives her enjoyment. They don't need to know that it was a gift or that selling it would only merit $15.
My daughter sacrifices a lot already. The five of us live in a two bedroom apartment. The boys have a room and us girls share a room. Only last month was I able to find a cot I could afford so that all three of us girls aren't sharing one bed. Emma has her own bed again, it's a camping cot with some old couch cushions on it to make it a little more comfy. She will lounge on it as if she's queen of the world with her precious iPad watching videos on YouTube or playing a game of MineCraft.
Judge me if you will as you judge these families, but a $15 dollar dinner isn't worth it to me to take away a small luxury from my daughter.
She's keeping her iPad, so go ahead and judge me like you do these other families. It's okay. I'm a Momma Bear, I can handle it.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Hard Work Is Not the Key to Success Anymore
Low wage job is just that...low wage. Want to earn more money? Get an education and get a better job.
Low wage job is just that...low wage. Want to earn more money? Get an education and get a better job.
"Low wage job is just that...low wage. Want to earn more money? Get an education and get a better job."
That was the first comment in a recent article that I read about an 81 year old McDonald's maintenance who is joining the fight for a fair raise (McDonald's maintenance worker Jose Carillo, 81, won't let his age keep him from waging the fight for fair wages for fast-food workers).
Too often, I believe that people forget that not everyone can earn that college education. Life isn't fair, and perhaps they never had that opportunity. In this case, this is an 81-year old man. As I am thinking of it, how many of our grandparents have college degrees? Life was different then, and college wasn't something that was touted as the key to moving up in the world. Hard work was considered the key to a successful life.
Today, the idea that hard work is going to get you a job that will pay your bills is becoming a thing of the past. Now, the only way to find that job that meets cost of living is to go to college. I am not for paying everyone the same thing, but there has to be a point where we pay for the services that we want as well. Maintenance workers and low skilled workers shouldn't be treated as being lesser people simply because they haven't been able to afford to go to college. They should be able to make a livable wage, which absolutely differs depending on where in the country you live.
These jobs aren't necessarily as low skill as one may think. I've flipped burgers at McDonald's and had to run and be on my feet all day. Many of these jobs are hard on the body, exhausting and require other skills of dexterity, organization, memory, all the while keeping that smile on. Maintenance jobs take a lot of knowledge of mechanics, and common sense that not everyone has.
I am behind workers like Jose Carillo, who deserve the opportunity to make a livable wage. Wages for the low skill jobs haven't been going up with the cost of living in this country, and it's about time they do.
Minimum wages need to be tied to the cost of living for a particular area. But, most importantly, workers need to be treated with respect and fairness. If you have a good worker, treat them as a good worker. Just as if you do a good job at your middle management job, you would expect a raise, why doesn't a good worker who serves your food deserve a raise?
Low wage job is just that...low wage. Want to earn more money? Get an education and get a better job.
"Low wage job is just that...low wage. Want to earn more money? Get an education and get a better job."
That was the first comment in a recent article that I read about an 81 year old McDonald's maintenance who is joining the fight for a fair raise (McDonald's maintenance worker Jose Carillo, 81, won't let his age keep him from waging the fight for fair wages for fast-food workers).
Too often, I believe that people forget that not everyone can earn that college education. Life isn't fair, and perhaps they never had that opportunity. In this case, this is an 81-year old man. As I am thinking of it, how many of our grandparents have college degrees? Life was different then, and college wasn't something that was touted as the key to moving up in the world. Hard work was considered the key to a successful life.
Today, the idea that hard work is going to get you a job that will pay your bills is becoming a thing of the past. Now, the only way to find that job that meets cost of living is to go to college. I am not for paying everyone the same thing, but there has to be a point where we pay for the services that we want as well. Maintenance workers and low skilled workers shouldn't be treated as being lesser people simply because they haven't been able to afford to go to college. They should be able to make a livable wage, which absolutely differs depending on where in the country you live.
These jobs aren't necessarily as low skill as one may think. I've flipped burgers at McDonald's and had to run and be on my feet all day. Many of these jobs are hard on the body, exhausting and require other skills of dexterity, organization, memory, all the while keeping that smile on. Maintenance jobs take a lot of knowledge of mechanics, and common sense that not everyone has.
I am behind workers like Jose Carillo, who deserve the opportunity to make a livable wage. Wages for the low skill jobs haven't been going up with the cost of living in this country, and it's about time they do.
Minimum wages need to be tied to the cost of living for a particular area. But, most importantly, workers need to be treated with respect and fairness. If you have a good worker, treat them as a good worker. Just as if you do a good job at your middle management job, you would expect a raise, why doesn't a good worker who serves your food deserve a raise?
Friday, August 15, 2014
Random Thoughts about the Stay-at-Home Mom
This is an excerpt from an old post of mine from a different site. I was thinking about this today, and realize, sometimes, my thoughts just don't really change on topics. Other times they do.
January 30, 2009 - Random thoughts from an overheard comment
Okay, it's not nice to eavesdrop. I know that, you know that, pretty much everyone knows that. But if people don't want you overhearing their conversations they should go someplace private or shut their door, especially at the office.
I find it curious, why do some professional women find that they have to be so critical of other women who choose to stay at home, either as a house wife or stay at home mom. Personally as a working mom, I give kuddos to those stay at homes. I know a few and their job is just as demanding as mine, perhaps, in ways, more so.
So, I was sitting at my desk, and a female professional who I am near starts talking on the phone. No biggie. Then she starts going on and on about how this old friend of hers is now a house wife and she can't understand how she could waste herself doing that. Sometimes it takes everything I have to not do one of a couple things. 1. go shut their door or 2. open my mouth and comment.
Here's my feelings. Of the stay at home types I know, well, okay, I'm jealous, and I'm not too big to admit it. If the economy wasn't what it was, I'd do everything I can to be among your ranks.
...
As for the stay at homes, well, they don't have it easy either. They work hard, keeping things in order, juggling children and schedules and the house... let me tell you, when the kids are home all day, the house does take a beating. How they do it, I honestly don't know. Many do so much more too, maybe take a class or volunteer work of one sort or another. Most of the stay at home moms I've met have multiple children. These are some brilliant women too. I don't think that their skills are wasted. Children are the greatest gift there is.
Two of the finest stay at homes I've ever met, never made me feel guilty about being a working mom. Both have/had three children, some with special needs. If you've never had a child with special needs you may not realize how much research goes into it.
I remember Jessica so clearly. Jessica was a good friend who passed away of cancer several years ago. She was a stay at home mom who home schooled. Her kids knew her love and she gave them it all. Jessica could schedule the three kids and all their various medical appointments (the oldest two had a multitude of special needs). Right up to the end, I don't think she ever let on how scared she was, or let them see her cry. They'd bring their school work to the hospital (somehow she continued to home school, something she believed in with all her being as being best for her children). They were social kids, they had friends, they were intelligent and well spoken, and well, were just great kids. Jessica was brilliant, probably one of those who if they took the test would have been a Mensan. She could have been anything she wanted to be or done anything she wanted to. I'm sure that there were those out there that judged her for staying home. Some who thought she was wasting herself on what would only be a few years of the kids being home (though honestly how many careers last 18+ years).
When people make comments about stay at home moms, I think of Jessica. Her life was not wasted. She loved staying home with her children. She loved teaching them. She had a lasting affect on so many lives that go past the nuclear family. ... If it wasn't for Jessica and how she advocated so for her children, how she encouraged [me], I wouldn't be half the mom I am today.
I am by no means perfect. I know my tongue slips at times and I say the wrong thing without meaning to. I am not the perfect mom. I make my share of mistakes.
So, I guess what I'm saying is, if you want to put down those moms/women who choose to stay home, whether it be as a house wife or a stay at home mom, think a moment. These women do not make female equality any less. I think that they actually help to strengthen it. They are not less than those of us who go out of the home to work. How many working moms have "left it to the stay at home moms" to do the bake sales, or be the brownie leaders, or chaperons on field trips. If you truly felt that they were lesser than yourself, could you trust them to do those things, would you even want them to?
I find it curious, why do some professional women find that they have to be so critical of other women who choose to stay at home, either as a house wife or stay at home mom. Personally as a working mom, I give kuddos to those stay at homes. I know a few and their job is just as demanding as mine, perhaps, in ways, more so.
So, I was sitting at my desk, and a female professional who I am near starts talking on the phone. No biggie. Then she starts going on and on about how this old friend of hers is now a house wife and she can't understand how she could waste herself doing that. Sometimes it takes everything I have to not do one of a couple things. 1. go shut their door or 2. open my mouth and comment.
Here's my feelings. Of the stay at home types I know, well, okay, I'm jealous, and I'm not too big to admit it. If the economy wasn't what it was, I'd do everything I can to be among your ranks.
...
As for the stay at homes, well, they don't have it easy either. They work hard, keeping things in order, juggling children and schedules and the house... let me tell you, when the kids are home all day, the house does take a beating. How they do it, I honestly don't know. Many do so much more too, maybe take a class or volunteer work of one sort or another. Most of the stay at home moms I've met have multiple children. These are some brilliant women too. I don't think that their skills are wasted. Children are the greatest gift there is.
Two of the finest stay at homes I've ever met, never made me feel guilty about being a working mom. Both have/had three children, some with special needs. If you've never had a child with special needs you may not realize how much research goes into it.
I remember Jessica so clearly. Jessica was a good friend who passed away of cancer several years ago. She was a stay at home mom who home schooled. Her kids knew her love and she gave them it all. Jessica could schedule the three kids and all their various medical appointments (the oldest two had a multitude of special needs). Right up to the end, I don't think she ever let on how scared she was, or let them see her cry. They'd bring their school work to the hospital (somehow she continued to home school, something she believed in with all her being as being best for her children). They were social kids, they had friends, they were intelligent and well spoken, and well, were just great kids. Jessica was brilliant, probably one of those who if they took the test would have been a Mensan. She could have been anything she wanted to be or done anything she wanted to. I'm sure that there were those out there that judged her for staying home. Some who thought she was wasting herself on what would only be a few years of the kids being home (though honestly how many careers last 18+ years).
When people make comments about stay at home moms, I think of Jessica. Her life was not wasted. She loved staying home with her children. She loved teaching them. She had a lasting affect on so many lives that go past the nuclear family. ... If it wasn't for Jessica and how she advocated so for her children, how she encouraged [me], I wouldn't be half the mom I am today.
I am by no means perfect. I know my tongue slips at times and I say the wrong thing without meaning to. I am not the perfect mom. I make my share of mistakes.
So, I guess what I'm saying is, if you want to put down those moms/women who choose to stay home, whether it be as a house wife or a stay at home mom, think a moment. These women do not make female equality any less. I think that they actually help to strengthen it. They are not less than those of us who go out of the home to work. How many working moms have "left it to the stay at home moms" to do the bake sales, or be the brownie leaders, or chaperons on field trips. If you truly felt that they were lesser than yourself, could you trust them to do those things, would you even want them to?
Monday, May 19, 2014
Dealing with the "System"
I hate admitting it, but it's true.
My kids are on Medicaid. I can't afford insurance and my employer doesn't offer any. Once upon a time I had good insurance, but those days are long gone.
It took me forever to get them finally covered, months with knowing you can't take afford a doctor is devastating. It makes you feel like you are a horrid parent.
Everyone says that there is all this help out there. Well, I don't know where, because I've certainly run upon roadblock upon roadblock.
Today, once again I tried to make my youngest son an appointment with a pediatrician. I need to take him to the doctor. He's healthy right now. I think. I don't know. You don't always know what's going on with autism. For you "autie" parents out there, you understand what I am saying. Now, imagine, my son hasn't seen a single doctor since January. For a child with special needs that is too long. The last time he was to the doctor was for chicken pox. (Yes, he had been vaccinated, and still got a minor case of it.)
The only pediatrician's office I could find won't make an appointment because his previous pediatrician has yet to transfer the records. This is after I waited over a month while trying to sort out the whole Medicaid business. Medicaid was saying they had insurance, too bad they didn't. So, I sit and wait again. Knowing, wondering, is he okay? I know he's been zoning out more lately. I know he seems to have trouble hearing as well. I really want these things looked at. But, alas, I find myself facing that horrid truth. I jumped through all their hoops so that my children would have the coverage, and I still can't get them in to see a pediatrician.
The system is broken. I am a working mom. I work hard. I try my best to take care of my children. But, I can't afford to do it all. I wish I could. I make just enough money that I personally get no coverage, and just enough that I will get fined for not having coverage, yet not enough to be able to afford any coverage for myself.
The thing is, I could "use" the system and take "advantage" of the system. But, I refuse. I will not lie. I will not quit my job and live totally off of it. I will not go out and find a lesser position with no future so that I can have coverage.
This economy and everything I have seen over the past number of years has taught me to swallow my pride. So, I do. But, the last piece of pride I refuse to give up is the pride in knowing I have tried. I know I have tried to work a decent job so I can afford to take care of my children. One day I hope to be back to where I don't need the help. I dream of that day. I know I will reach it, but for now I need a helping hand. I used to think that the "system" was there for people who needed it, that it was supposed to be a way to help out in times of trouble. Now, I know that too often, the only way you get the help is if you stop trying to better yourself and your family and accept that you are a "nobody", a "bottom feeder", and "not worth anything better".
Problem is, I can't accept that. So, I will wonder, why? Why is the system so broke that when someone needs the help that they can't get it? Why do you have to stop trying to better yourself and pull yourself back up on your feet to get "help"?
It is only too true, that in some ways the "system" rewards people for not trying. If I made just a little less money, I could qualify for food stamps for my family. If I make less I could receive coverage too through the state and would be able to see a much needed doctor. If I made less money, even if I didn't receive state coverage for me, I could afford a periodic doctor visit for myself, if only I made less money, took a lesser job than what I can do, and took advantage of the "system" as it stands. Too bad that is not in my personality to do. This is a challenge too many people face today.
We need to make changes to the system. We need to make sure that this inbetween stage of not completely poverty, but not "middle class" is given assistance to bring themselves to a point where they can take care of their families. It shouldn't be an all or nothing prospect.
My kids are on Medicaid. I can't afford insurance and my employer doesn't offer any. Once upon a time I had good insurance, but those days are long gone.
It took me forever to get them finally covered, months with knowing you can't take afford a doctor is devastating. It makes you feel like you are a horrid parent.
Everyone says that there is all this help out there. Well, I don't know where, because I've certainly run upon roadblock upon roadblock.
Today, once again I tried to make my youngest son an appointment with a pediatrician. I need to take him to the doctor. He's healthy right now. I think. I don't know. You don't always know what's going on with autism. For you "autie" parents out there, you understand what I am saying. Now, imagine, my son hasn't seen a single doctor since January. For a child with special needs that is too long. The last time he was to the doctor was for chicken pox. (Yes, he had been vaccinated, and still got a minor case of it.)
The only pediatrician's office I could find won't make an appointment because his previous pediatrician has yet to transfer the records. This is after I waited over a month while trying to sort out the whole Medicaid business. Medicaid was saying they had insurance, too bad they didn't. So, I sit and wait again. Knowing, wondering, is he okay? I know he's been zoning out more lately. I know he seems to have trouble hearing as well. I really want these things looked at. But, alas, I find myself facing that horrid truth. I jumped through all their hoops so that my children would have the coverage, and I still can't get them in to see a pediatrician.
The system is broken. I am a working mom. I work hard. I try my best to take care of my children. But, I can't afford to do it all. I wish I could. I make just enough money that I personally get no coverage, and just enough that I will get fined for not having coverage, yet not enough to be able to afford any coverage for myself.
The thing is, I could "use" the system and take "advantage" of the system. But, I refuse. I will not lie. I will not quit my job and live totally off of it. I will not go out and find a lesser position with no future so that I can have coverage.
This economy and everything I have seen over the past number of years has taught me to swallow my pride. So, I do. But, the last piece of pride I refuse to give up is the pride in knowing I have tried. I know I have tried to work a decent job so I can afford to take care of my children. One day I hope to be back to where I don't need the help. I dream of that day. I know I will reach it, but for now I need a helping hand. I used to think that the "system" was there for people who needed it, that it was supposed to be a way to help out in times of trouble. Now, I know that too often, the only way you get the help is if you stop trying to better yourself and your family and accept that you are a "nobody", a "bottom feeder", and "not worth anything better".
Problem is, I can't accept that. So, I will wonder, why? Why is the system so broke that when someone needs the help that they can't get it? Why do you have to stop trying to better yourself and pull yourself back up on your feet to get "help"?
It is only too true, that in some ways the "system" rewards people for not trying. If I made just a little less money, I could qualify for food stamps for my family. If I make less I could receive coverage too through the state and would be able to see a much needed doctor. If I made less money, even if I didn't receive state coverage for me, I could afford a periodic doctor visit for myself, if only I made less money, took a lesser job than what I can do, and took advantage of the "system" as it stands. Too bad that is not in my personality to do. This is a challenge too many people face today.
We need to make changes to the system. We need to make sure that this inbetween stage of not completely poverty, but not "middle class" is given assistance to bring themselves to a point where they can take care of their families. It shouldn't be an all or nothing prospect.
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