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Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

It's a new year and time to start afresh.  A new year means many different things to people.  For some it is just another day on the calendar, but for many people it is something much more.  It is a day of reflection, a day to start new habits or quit old habits.

I like to take the first day of the year and think on the year that has now passed.  I wonder what the new year will bring to pass.  Last year was a huge year of transitions.  I switched jobs in May and then in September was laid off from the new job.

For me, this was probably the biggest change for the year.  I went from being the primary income for our family to being unemployed.  I became a stay at home mom and a homemaker.  Wow!  The chance of a lifetime for me.  I had always wanted to be able to stay home with the kids and I had a chance to.  It was difficult, I didn't know how to be a stay at home mom.  I had in my mind all these things.  Stay at home mom's always have clean perfect houses and kids.  They go to all the school events and are always so in touch with all the aspects of their children's lives.  They manage the house and the budget.  They are always so organized.  I admit it, I was jealous.  I knew it was a tough job, I wasn't like the stereotypical working mom who thought SAHMs had it easy.

The job of being a stay at home mom was very difficult.  I am not saying that it was tougher than being a working mom, but it was harder than I thought.  It is difficult in a different way.  When I was a working mom, I had a set schedule.  I would wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home and do a couple hours of chores.  I still do hours of chores every day (there are five kiddos in this household), but it was very different.  I had my expectations of what I thought it should be like and I was bound and determined that was what was going to happen.

I started scrubbing and cleaning.  I wanted that perfectly clean house with the perfectly clean behaved kids.  Three months later, I'm still not satisfied that my house is as clean as I want it to be.  The first thing I noticed was all those little things that I didn't think about when I was working.  Oh well, so there is a mess under the kitchen sink, it was no big deal.  Cleaners... oh my!  I had no idea that I had several different cleaners for any job around the house.  The biggest part of my cleaning was paring down things.  I was going to use up every extra supply in the house before I bought any more.  There are a lot less extra cleaners around now.

My New Year's Resolution for 2013 had been to get rid of half of what was in the house.  I don't know if I quite did that, but I am certain I came close.  The boys took and filled the little red wagon at least once a week for a couple months with boxes that I had packed and itemized for donation to Goodwill.  The trash can was filled twice a week almost to overfull, and somethings actually overfull with trash.

Now a New Year is here.  I need to find a job and it's been difficult.  I enjoyed so much staying home and taking care of things.  It really is what I would love to do, but Tony was laid off right after Thanksgiving.  One of us needs to find a job and soon.  We are both looking but nothing seems to come about.

Here I am on New Year's Day, one of my biggest dreams ever was realized (if only for a few months), and I am at a crossroads.  What does the New Year bring?  Will I go back to work?  I don't know what kind of resolution to make this year.  There is no one set thing that needs to be completed this year, there are many.  This year, instead of a new single set resolution, perhaps I should simply resolve to keep it going, to go with the flow and do everything I can do to be the best person and mom that I can be.

Happy New Year to all!  May all your dreams and wishes come true.