Those who know me know that I consider mental health issues the same as someone may consider any other medical issue. Still, there are consequences. Even with medical issues, if you do something you shouldn't there are consequences. The same goes for mental health problems. Bipolar is not a free pass, the price must be paid for actions and inactions. And, sometimes that price is steep.
Often my experience has been that the consequences are bad credit, no money left in accounts, and constant battles over priorities. The consequences go far beyond that though. They lead to loved ones having feelings of being overwhelmed. And, sometimes, that very overwhelming feeling forces loved ones to have to face decisions that they don't want to make.
I love my Tony, my other half. That is not in dispute. He is a good man and a loving father. He is also bipolar. He has abrupt mood swings, and is a spendthrift. He doesn't think about what he's spending. And, all too often, there is nothing to show for the money that disappears. There is always a way in his mind to pay for the necessities.
Consequences have a way of catching up on a person. Today, Tony, is in jail. Yikes! Did she just say that? Yes, I did. Several years ago, Tony got himself in trouble. I'm not going to go into what happened, that is not for me to say, needless to say, he received probation and was sent on his merry way. He just had to follow the probation guidelines and everything would be okay. The probation should have been over years ago. I thought it was. He told me it was. He even had been pulled over for speeding and everything was okay. Or, so I thought. Tony forgot that he didn't follow the requirements of his probation, and the results are he had to go spend some time in the county jail. Not a good place for anyone. Let's add to that he let his prescription lapse and hasn't seen his doctor lately so he is without his medication.
Now, our family has to pay the price. The price is high. Not only are we without Tony, who watched the kids so that I could work, but it turns out that he had just begun another manic episode. This incident actually helped catch the episode so some of it can be taken care of and damage mitigated. But, not all the damage can be undone. Ahhhh... those pesky consequences again.
I am about to start on a journey to try to stop further damage and try (once again) to put some more structures in place to prevent damage in the future. In the meantime, I have to determine what I need to do to keep the family safe and sound. To keep us healthy and happy. It's not easy to sit and wonder what to do, or even how to do it.